Although I saw my Neurologist two days ago, I spent yesterday in bed with a headache and most of this morning with a headache hangover. I still feel a little bit out of it.
I’m not sure what to think or say about these results, this is my 4th one and it sure was different. To see some things I said to him in black and white was/is scary. By that I mean he wrote down quite a bit of my personal history. I wish I would have known this would be the outcome, I was caught off guard.
I am trying to accept it and not get defensive, angry, etc. since the only one that affects is me…and Richard. I don’t need any negative energy in me or around me.
What I can understand of the results is what he called “Executive Dysfunction.” When I first read it I laughed and thought that’s something you’d see in a hilarious Dilbert comic strip!
At any rate, I feel like this one isn’t piercing me like they usually do. No tears shed. It just is what it is. Now, if this latest test were to affect my Disability benefits, then I’d have to take issue and maybe even ask for a second test from someone else. Yes, I just said that. These tests are brutal.
I did ask for a copy of the results and have read over them a couple of times, some of the wording is rather foreign, so I won’t belabor it unless there are some unfortunate events that result.
I purposely store all records regarding lawsuits, TBI-related medical paperwork, etc., in a Banker’s Box in the basement. I find it gratifying I can control a little bit of this journey by not reading, re-reading, getting scared, etc.
I’m sincerely hoping those dark, difficult and painful days are behind me. One of the last things the Psychologist said after my testing was this wouldn’t affect my Disability benefits. I sure hope that is the case.