I dream in horses…well…actually horse clinics of the Vaquero tradition. Last year I actually got to go to a Buck Brannaman clinic after many, many years of not being able to (thanks to TBI).
Being back at a clinic, it was pure equine bliss! But unlike clinics attended pre-injury, by the end of the first day I felt like crying…not because I was so happy, but because my brain was so tired and I knew I had two more days to get through and I wanted to soak it all in!
The only way I got to go was for Richard to drive me there and back. He stayed for some of the clinic and drove me the entire way home, or, on the days he didn’t stay, he drove home again, then came back and picked me up later. Huge, long, exhausting days for him because of all the driving.
When I was at the clinic, it was a time machine back to the era pre-injury where I enjoyed chatting with others, made a lot of jokes, and got a lot of people laughing. It was, a precious moment in time, to say the least. I got to see my true self!
This year I didn’t wish to inconvenience Richard and so I adamantly went to Priceline.com, got a room for about $50/night and started planning. I was to be packing and resting today, but didn’t plan on getting sick…or whatever this is…
Yesterday I had bloodwork done for the annual physical I have coming up. No big deal. I fasted overnight, and went in first thing in the morning. The happy vein that had been used last year wasn’t as inviting as my other arm, so we started there. Yes, I say started because my blood literally dripped annoyingly slow into the vial. Oh yeah!
The nurse said, “You just must be a dripper.” I thought that was hilarious and I jokingly said, “Well, I’ve been called worse!” My blood has never dripped like that, at any rate, she had to switch to the other arm, so there we go sports fans, dual needle pokes. Still I didn’t consider it that big of a deal, but it did make me wonder.
After that fun Richard and I went to breakfast and it felt so good to get to eat, especially on a very cold morning. Later on, after we got home I took a typical TBI nap and when I got up Richard had made a meatloaf so I had a little bit…but wasn’t really hungry in the first place, but felt really out of sorts. I ate some and then got a huge stomach ache, even my back hurt. What a way to compliment his cooking! I had some Pepto-Bismal but haven’t quite been the same since.
With not feeling even slightly well, I called the motel and canceled the room, then had to call Priceline to see if they would issue a refund, which the itinerary said the would not. If I could get a doctor’s note, they would refund $93.36 after the $75 cancellation fee. Oh yeah. I hate to say it, but feeling as poorly as I did, I didn’t have the energy or brain bucks to pursue anything so I’m out a big chunk of change.
The folks at the motel were very kind, she said they would not pursue any fees and, she said she hoped I felt better soon. Needless to say Priceline did not have the same heart.
Note to self: Always have a Plan B and never do anything where I cannot cancel in case of TBI crash or health. No clinic for me this year. It was hard enough going last year when I had a lot of energy and excitement, LOL, at least initially, before I started to get exhausted. With not feeling well, being this tired, and who knows if I’m sick or whatever, I would be hard-pressed to be able to tolerate any time in a freezing cold arena.
I guess if I can look at the bright side, it was good practice trying to plan and prepare for something so near and dear to my heart and not allow disappointment. At least I got to go last year and had him sign some of the treasures I refused to let go of when I nearly lost my house.
This is why I’ve been quiet for some time, just resting and preparing, preparing, preparing!
Isn’t this a life lesson for us all, though? How we handle things when things don’t go as expected? I’d imagine that’s exactly where all of our resilient hearts get their training and are strengthened…