Facebook, Betrayal, and a Web of Lies


While I have been dealing with my own and my Dad’s health issues, I’ve been offline quite a bit.

One thing that had kept me engaged online was a young girl I met on Facebook in a support group.  At the time we met, she was ready to commit suicide, alleged rape by many men, abuse, incest, miscarriages, that her father was a police officer and she could not tell anyone.

My heart, as did the hearts of so many, went out to her, encouraging her to hang on, never give up.  Another Facebook friend and I became advocates, we felt it imperative to get this girl free from her horrific life. We just could not bear the thought of her living one more day like that.  And hearing about suicide, my gosh, that’s such a big issue with TBI, we had to do something.

I reported the suicide threats to Facebook.  We wrote Oprah and Dr. Phil on her behalf.  I contacted a crisis line in her country, they could not intervene through me, but the girl had to call them herself.

Some of the things she said didn’t make sense, but being led to believe she was in her early teens and in a different country and culture, exceptions were made.  I contacted an agency in her country that deals with these sorts of situations and asked them to contact her on Facebook…but first had them promise me they would protect her and maintain strict confidentiality, with her dad being a cop, things were incredibly difficult.

If her story were true, she needed help, if it were not true, she definitely needed help!  As fate would have it, and I’m sure once local people started looking to help her, the lies surfaced.  She confessed last night she was not 14-years-old, she is indeed 33-years-old.  That’s where the string of lies began.

She said she apologized for hurting people.  Wow.  Seriously?  She threatened to commit suicide!  She threatened doing harm to herself like cutting!  She manipulated the good intentions of everyone and when she did not get her way talked about how people were judging her!  OMG!  I consider these very, very serious and told her so on her wall, all of which, including her confession, she has since taken down.  She keeps the fake Facebook page, however.

I’ve blocked her, unfriended people I’d added to help her, and, I left all groups I’d been a part of.  I love helping people, especially when it leads to a transformed and healed life, but I will not accept the unacceptable, nor will I enable her destructive behavior.  She sucked the lifeblood out of us and then found others she could con.  She really needs professional help, not Facebook.

One of my favorite things about Brain Injured people?  99.9% do not have the capacity or intention to lie, cheat, hurt, or steal anything from anyone but are 120% grateful for what they do have.

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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14 Responses to Facebook, Betrayal, and a Web of Lies

  1. wow you are an amazing person stepping up like that! my hats of to you! i’m wondering if this person you tried to help has munchenhausen syndrome? it sounds just like it.

    • Thanks so much for your comment. I’m one of those people who pretty much can’t sit idly by when I have full knowledge of someone else’s suffering.

      I’m wondering if she is a compulsive liar, she said she’s told her story to 10 people as an adult and no one believed her. It could be munchenausen too, I really don’t know.

      My concern is a lack of remorse. Was she sorry she did it or sorry she got caught?

      I just couldn’t stay in any group at this time, people were comforting her saying everyone makes mistakes. Wow! That’s not a mistake, it’s premeditated and enabling.

      I was thinking today how unfortunate it is she could not get the healing she needed without abusing or using others.

      Oh the joys and mysteries of life! 🙂 We press on. 🙂

      • ya, she is definitely messed up and needs help! i am sure it is now going to be hard for you to believe someone again. you’re right it wasn’t a mistake. you must be so shaken!

  2. I’ve learned over the last decade+ that keeping my heart open is simultaneously the greatest challenge and the greatest reward. I don’t know at this point if/how this experience will change me. I did, however, have the rare priviledge of helping another person recently say no to suicide and mirror back to her her own resilient heart. 🙂 That in itself is truly a miracle, and definitely a highlight of my life. 🙂

  3. Lydia H says:

    It’s not your problem, it’s hers. I’m sorry you left the groups in Facebook. You responded genuinely, even if she was full of it. I hope you’re still on FB. You could friend me. I’m brain-injured, not pathological. lol. 😉

    Take care.

    • Bless your heart, Lydia, thank you kindly for your words. I’m still on Facebook, I probably won’t leave! I’ve been knocked down but not out.

      LOL – love your comment about not pathological! Tee hee! (She did not have a TBI:) I will friend you. Thanks again! 🙂

    • LOL – I tried to find you on fb but alas, my brain is fried and it’s not even Fried-Day yet! 🙂

  4. OH MY! I am so sorry! You are right: TBI makes it damn near impossible to lie. That is an Upside…

    another upside: I will use your sad experience to help my son understand that you can not believe what people say online. He is not allowed on Facebook or social networking sites BUT he needs to know that these things DO indeed happen. He always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and I admire that deeply. I have also seen him hurt by mean ‘friends’. Your honesty about your experience with this woman will help me help my son. He is very empathetic; me too. Sometimes that is a curse.

    Thank you for being the kind of Woman who reaches out to help others. Thank you for being honest about what happened. You are amazing!

    XO Jen

    • Thanks so much for your comment, Jen, it did knock the wind out of me because it is wrong on so many levels, and, this !@#$ TBI and lack of energy. LOL – will file it under the “Lessons Learned” category!

      Yes – online safety is a must, especially for children, it is real life and they are exposed to much they are not prepared for. I was trying to find the Tyra Banks’ episode where she posed as a teen in a chat room and within a matter of mere seconds she was getting messaged. I also like “To Catch a Predator” with Chris Hanson

      Gavin De Becker’s book, The Gift of Fear” has helped me a lot.

      Your son sounds like a kind and noble soul and there are too few like him in this world. He too will have to learn self-care and boundaries…clearly something I’d never even heard about until my 30’s!

      I’m glad this will help your son too. There are many takeaway messages from this experience. I am grateful I followed my instincts in getting her help because I really could not verify her story. If I hadn’t found help for her in her country, the lies would still be going on to this day.

      Sometimes we can be part of the transformation in someone else’s life, and sometimes we merely pant seeds and I don’t mind that one bit.

      Blessings, Love & Peace,
      RH

  5. The person who needs your help the most right now … is you. 😉

  6. hearthquakes says:

    For someone who has gone through so much pain, I find it inspiring that you still have so much love to give. Amazing. 🙂 Wish I’d have as big a heart as yours.

    • Thanks so much for your kind words. Thing is, you have a big heart growing inside too. 🙂

      I truly hope each and every person who reads this blog will find the resilient heart that is alive and well within.

      I’m simply passing along, or paying-it-forward, the kindnesses I did receive along the way.

    • This was written for every ‘under construction’ soul I can find!

      http://thefightofmylife.blogspot.com/2012/03/do-you-know-how-proud-i-am-of-you.html

      Your heart is already growing, sometimes in small, unnoticeable ways right now, but when there is a turning point you will look back and see the growth. Those who seek a more compassionate pathway through life, enlarging their hearts, they will find it…and sometimes the path comes to us! 🙂

      Blessings, Love & Peace,
      RH

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