Resisting A Rest

I’ve been busted!

I tried exceeding the brain budget limit by leveraging caffeine, it worked, but only briefly.

Yesterday my brain crashed and FORCED me to rest.  I’d been caught, I am guilty, once again involuntarily making a fool out of myself.  I’d broken the law of trying to do too much, acting as if I do not have an injured brain, enjoying a brief taste of normality and the freedom I hold dear.

The consequences have been rather harsh outside of the normal brain fatigue.  For the last two nights I have been having VIVID, gruesome, violent nightmares, one of which I awoke from shaking.  This is not normal, we don’t have TV, I have not watched anything violent (because I don’t like it, let alone my brain not being able to tolerate it.)

I have to do time.  I know, it sucks!  All freedom has been revoked.  I’ve been sent to dark, quiet, solitary confinement until I fully recover from my latest infraction.

About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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16 Responses to Resisting A Rest

  1. Lydia H says:

    Guilty here. I spent too long at work trying to finish a project. I ended up throwing several “F-Bombs” as the frustration built. The room was too stimulating and I had to redo the same slide for the presenation several times, and again, and again. When I thought I was done, I ran it to check and it was still wrong. I threw a pen across the room. My co-workers were worried. I had a killer migraine but had to keep going.

    • I’m sorry for your unlovely, difficult day. I’ve been there too in a stressful work environment TRYING to make my brain function, it is so hard!

      I found it equally as embarrassing to require ‘special accommodations. I did wear earplugs at work for a while, I worked in an office too. Then I was allowed to work from home and that helped a lot but I still made mistakes.

      It takes A LOT of strength to keep going despite our difficult office moments/days. There were quite a few days I seriously considered crawling under a rock, I was sure that would be far more comfortable and rewarding!

      Hang in there, you’re a strong soul. 🙂

  2. Adrenal fatigue does the same sort of thing to me … be sure to take the time to get the rest you need. … Be well, Dorothy 🙂

    • Thanks so much, Dorothy. What is adrenal fatigue like and how do you recover? Thanks for being here, I am resting and giving my brain a break from the computer and stimuli.

      Best to you today & always. 🙂

      • Adrenal fatigue ( ) occurs when the adrenal glands, through mental, emotional and physical stress, become so burned out they cease to function optimally. Mostly exhaustion, weight gain, mental fogginess and a host of other symptoms have been attributed to the break down of the adrenals, and since this often overlooked organ is key to the overall health and well-being of the body its malfunction can be terribly debilitating. … I was diagnosed two years ago and am working with a hormone therapist, naturopath, chiropractor and psychotherapist to address this issue as mental, emotional and physical are all connected in the healing process. As well, with the loving support of my husband, my life has become much simpler, limited to walking dogs, training horse, writing and resting. I eat a lot less and have modified my diet away from heavy foods of all kinds (have lost 25 lbs without trying). I eat a lot of homemade chicken soup :-). If I do happen to overdo things my body reminds me, in no uncertain terms and quite unpleasantly, of my priorities. … It is not an experience I would wish on anyone, though I realize there are likely millions of people out there who are suffering with it but don’t realize this is so. Conventional medicine does not recognize adrenal malfunction until it reaches the level of Addison’s disease. … Maybe I need to write about this in my own blog. I didn’t mean to take up so much space in yours … Be well, and rest … 😉 Dorothy …

      • Thanks so much, Dorothy, this is very helpful information. I’d also looked it up in my Prescription for Nutritional Healing which I have loved for years and years. Is this something that is discovered by blood work by a General Practitioner or would this be something to discuss with an endocrinologist? I am so pleased to hear you have a great support team of your husband and insightful care providers, good for you!! 🙂

        I have been thinking about having my GP run some tests just to see if anything else is causing fatigue that I’m unaware of. I’m very curious. I wonder how many folks do have this without realizing it and are just surviving day to day thinking it’s ‘normal’ or aging, or stress.

        (No worries about taking up space here, it’s interesting and I’m thankful for your sharing.)

        Wishing you all the best – today & always. 🙂

      • I would grab a copy of Dr. Jim Wilson’s book “Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Syndrome” and have a read of that first before approaching a doctor. As he explains, most doctors receive very little training in this area of medicine so are unfamiliar with the concept of adrenal fatigue. When I explained my symptoms to my GP 18 months ago she said I’d just have to learn to live with it (aging) which, of course, I have refused to accept as my quality of life is of utmost importance to me. ie. I cannot afford to be exhausted while sitting on my 1,200 lb horse …

        In the book Dr. Wilson provides questions to help you see if you identify with the symptoms and then offers suggestions to help cope or adjust lifestyle, etc. Seeing an endocrinologist may be useful but I’d want to go armed with some background first. It’s a useful book and well worth a gander.

        In my case my naturopath made the first diagnosis and then the hormone specialist I started to see several months later confirmed it with further blood work and saliva testing, which is the most accurate way to measure for stress hormones relating to adrenal issues.

        If you are feeling fatigued this is certainly worth investigating. All trauma (PTSD) effects the adrenal glands. If we over produce certain hormones our adrenals become depleted. But with the appropriate measures they can recuperate. It just takes time. (A year ago test results showed I had the adrenal function of a 70 year old woman … I was 48! Current blood work shows they’re functioning more in the 50s range. So, they’re getting better, but there’s still room for improvement.)

        As well, we are so stressed and over-stimulated as a society that finding ways to balance this off is very important if we are to be healthy and thrive. It is not “normal” to be so stressed, so exhausted, so anxiety-ridden — this is dis-ease.

        I’m doing what I can to give myself the best shot at living a full and vibrant life. This means resting a lot even though I find it frustrating at times to be so confined by my lack of energy and need to recuperate. Still, this is my only option if I wish to be well again.

        Thanks for this discussion. I am happy to share what I learn as I go along this healing path. Based on my conversations with others and from what I’ve read I’m positive there are many people dealing with the debilitating symptoms of adrenal fatigue and just don’t know it. I look forward to hearing more about your healing journey.

        Be well and treat yourself to something that delights you … 😉 … Dorothy

    • Dorothy, thank you *so* miuch for sharing your information, insight and experience. I will definitely look into the book. I did have a Naturopath years ago but it was straight out of pocket and I was sinking under the strain of TBI/PTSD and possible foreclosure.

      I had seriously wondered at the time what the ongoing years of stress were doing to me.

      Now that I’m in Montana, I’m learning what I can and cannot do on Medicare and supplemental insurance. I very much want to get back to acupuncture as it helped me so much years ago. I beleive both conventional and traditoinal medicines are the best of both worlds, although I do lean more to the holistic/natural approach.

      I love your advice about self-care and quieting ourselves in such an overwhelming, mass-media, constant on-the-go society. Technology may have changed, but we’re still hard wired for life at a friendlier pace! I’m very happy to hear you’re giving yourself a good life no matter what, I think that’s awesome! 🙂

      This is absolutely fascinating – thanks again!

  3. anaslense says:

    Take your time, please, rest well. We will be waiting for you to come back stronger! 🙂

  4. buckwheatsrisk says:

    so sorry to hear that, take care of you. 🙂

  5. Same here – worked my a** off for three weeks running without much of a break, and now I’m feeling it big-time. Getting some rest and recuperating, but not happy about it. Oh, well, we gotta do what we gotta do, I guess. Stay strong and good luck.

    • Thanks for your comment, I’m sorry to hear about your brain crash too. Sometimes I call them ‘spark and crash’ because there are times I can rise to the occasion, and ALWAYS pay for it later. [sigh]

      It’s tough being here, resting, waiting for a better moment (LOL – I say moment instead of day because we don’t have those good days very often). How brain injury debilitates and is so !@#$ unpredictable, is staggering…

      Hang in there and stay strong too. We get knocked down, but we always get back up. Take good care & hugs.

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