Back to the Beginning: The Decision (posted Apr. 21, 2010)

I received a letter from Social Security the same day I sent the escrow papers for my house sale, the ironic timing of both did not escape me.

I received approval for Disability, and started crying in the Post Office. It has taken me about a week to process this and understand it to be a good, good thing. The date of Disability is way later than I would have liked, but the process of fighting for benefits is over. Two major life stressors – the house and Disability are now over. I know I will need some time to settle in to not only my new life here, but the Disability system, a much smaller income and hopefully finally, a more peaceful life.

The settlement will be quite small since the onset date is so late, but I’m glad to have been approved. I had the option of continuing the fight or accepting the date I saw their doctor, I chose the latter. I am tired of these dragged out years of fighting.

Once I get my debts paid off I can go about the business of just living, and, even afford a hair cut or two (yes, I have “Recession Hair,” haven’t had a hair cut in a year!), go to the doctor, dentist, etc., and take care of all those things that have been shelved for years.

I will be eligible for Medicare in a year, I think. Big settlement or small, I am grateful for the help that is available. The out-of-pocket expenses continue for now, but the relief is immeasurable. That fight is over, thank God, and perhaps I won’t feel I have to work so hard to prove my disability to the world and be able to just have a good life.

This is a major transition, I still have dreams at night of things like applying for jobs at Microsoft. But within those dreams are stark reality of looking good on paper and completely tanking the testing and interview! I saw with clear vision in my dream the blank looks of the interviewer when I told her of my Brain Injuries, that may have just been a dream, but it is the truth in the daylight hours too.

Who am I now without the house and the struggle to prove my case? I’m not completely out of the woods, I still have to deal with the at-fault party’s insurance, and yes we know that won’t be a walk in the park. Hopefully this will be the last struggle for a time, and perhaps maybe, I can simply breathe.

About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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