Back to the Beginning: Missing One Week (posted Aug. 29, 2010)


With Brain Injury, the concept of time can become quite freakish. This week was one of those such weeks where I was completely adrift from what I call “this whole concept of time thing.”

Monday started out with a trip to Glacier National Park, it was the second journey in a couple of weeks, the first was short after a late start, a very bumpy ride which caused considerable neck pain, we weren’t prepared with food and water, and I was just too tired to enjoy any of it.

With lessons learned of what we hadn’t packed, this second attempt was calmer. The weather, however, was a complete flip! We remembered to take jackets, but hey, this is summer, so figured we’d be fine. It was freezing – and windy.

We walked FAST on the hike to Hidden Lake because it was bone-chilling cold. It even made the water I had in my fanny pack very cold! It felt good to get out, it was the first hike I’d taken in years, a freedom not taken for granted.

The spaces in between the railroad tie-sized walkway bothered my eyes so much so they looked like strobe lights, eventually I had to look away. The temperature? I would only come to find the next day from emailing the park that at 8:30 that morning the reported temperature was 37! I don’t know if that took into consideration wind-chill.

The hike is famous for having mountain goats along the walkway, unfortunately not this time. We returned to the car tired out and frozen, ate lunch and left only to find a trail down the road with the goats alongside – drats! We did try to get there, but with the incredible amount of traffic on the two-lane highway we decided to call it good and head back.

Thursday was the 60-mile drive to town for Richard’s doctor appointment and shopping. I’d hoped to sleep in and recoup Friday, but completely spaced about our yard sale! Holy cow, we’d placed an ad and everything!

Despite my being absolutely fried before the sale even started, it went pretty well, we marked things down 25% Friday and 50% Saturday, even the truck got marked down Friday, but no takers. Guess the fact it’s a 2-wheel drive is not a big sell out here in the land of harsh winters. We also marked down my Mom’s Hobart mixer and huge cake decorating toolbox 25%, but again no takers. A lot of interest, but no sale. The mixer itself is worth $800-$1200 alone.

We will continue to try to sell the bigger items locally and maybe eBay too, and as far as the leftovers? We thought it’d be a neat idea to call the different charities and ministries in the area and see if they’d like to come and take whatever they can use. The thrift store here in town gets inundated with things and we thought this may work for everyone.

Oh – and a gal did offer me a horse and a saddle in exchange or my truck! My brain couldn’t process it so I’m sure my reaction was less than what she’d hoped for. C’est la vie.

I almost forgot Friday evening Richard had to drive the 60+ miles to pick up a friend arriving on the train at 9:15! Richard was having car trouble so I could not go to bed as I would have to drive there if they didn’t arrive back here by 10:30. Oh my gosh, can we say fried?!!

I’m glad the sale is over! I can manage a day or so, but not two days. A half a day would probably fit me well. I get tired easily, then really irritated with the BS, drama, intrusive questions and trying to be more social and interested than I actually am.

I think another core issue goes back to while being diagnosed. My life was strewn out before the scrutiny and judgement of perfect strangers. I guess I see people coming here, going through our stuff and questioning everything as pretty much the same. Intrusive.

I got tired of me doing or saying stupid things which I knew set people off. Hopefully those folks have memory issues too. Social interactions post-injury will probably always haunt me. It’s the strangest thing getting so disgusted or embarrassed with myself, like I can’t trust myself to behave, but I still have to live with me! Sometimes I feel I can’t take me anywhere!

Only one lady came back after we closed yesterday afternoon, she swore we told her we’d be open until 1:00, I said no, the signs and ad said otherwise, she said she couldn’t read that small print. Bleck. My BS detector lit up the bright afternoon sky! People – I just don’t have the tolerance. The general disrespect or people trying to cheat you out of a really good deal irk me to no end. And people writing checks at yard sales, are you flipping kidding me?!

The more I know about people, the more I go back to my childhood love of animals, they’re far more reasonable, what you see is what you get, they spend all their lives sensing and intuiting. I guess the experiences of the last several years has taught me there just aren’t that many really good people out there.

There were a couple of really nice folks, one couple with their toddler who knew Richard. When they walked up another lady seeing the cute girl in her daddy’s arms asked, “And what do we have here?”

The dad beamed, “The best deal in town.” The mom shared how they had tried to get pregnant for six years, gave up trying, looked into adopting when she suddenly became ill. She thought it was because she had been working six jobs (yes, she said six!) Neat to see, they’re happy and as content as can be. A family like that is a beautiful sight.

There was also a fellow who had the sweetest soul, he bought some jewelry for his wife because she likes beads. He went to his car, came back with a fist full of crumpled dollars and spare change, asked me to count it saying it was easier for me (oh if he’d only known!) and then asked how many pairs of socks he could buy. Richard made him a good deal and the man left.

I mentioned to Richard it was a very good chance of him having a Brain Injury because he kept asking how much the prices even though everything was marked and he, along with me, had trouble figuring how much 25% off was.

I’ve thought about that man a lot since he stopped by our sale, I wish I’d taken note of the car he’d driven to keep an eye out for him in town. I hope the kindness and acceptance we offered were received as such. Of the many folks who came to the sale, he was one of the few who took to heart the sign we posted asking folks to please park mindfully of others because of the layout of our driveway.

And you better believe I offered up prayers of protection for him.

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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