Back to the Beginning: Exhausting Week (posted June 6, 2010)


I wish I had better insight into pacing and planning than I did this week. The yard sale being just last weekend, I really should have planned in more rest and not schedule the cat’s vet appointment for this past week.

In search of the best vet I looked online and then posted an ad on Craigslist as I’ve heard the vets in town here are not recommended at all(!), that means a 120-mile roundtrip. Just like when I moved here, I underestimated the logistics and stress. We went for a Friday afternoon appointment.

This was the first trip to a vet since putting my dog down last year and I’ve got to tell you, my heart gets all wobbly, I really hate the stress it puts my animals and myself through. I told Richard I would pay a good vet extra to make house calls just to avoid this scary journey.

Everything went as well as it could, Tux did well, she’s overweight and limping, and because she is the elder cat of the household, there is concern about her age as well. They examined her and took a blood sample, she did well during the exam, but she said no to the blood draw on her neck, so they had to shave and draw from another area. Something about seeing that shaved area still startles me. Must be left over heartache from November’s loss of Rudy. How easily I can still cry about that…

We combined running errands with the trip since it’s to the major metropolis of the area where shops like Target, Costco, and name brand grocery stores are located. I clearly overdid it. I shop slower than Richard and he is always in a hurry to get to the next store or drive back, so I’m always feeling rushed in addition to the mental gymnastics my injured brain is trying to do.

I was fried! Richard was trying to explain to me where some people lived in town, he asked, “Got that?” I just numbly nodded without a clue knowing it didn’t really matter, I was too tired. We stopped at a burger joint for something to eat and I grabbed one of their ‘take out’ menus that way I can look at it when not so overstimulated, decide, and have that with me so I know what to order next time. Nothing like staring at a board over the employees heads and not being able to comprehend what’s on it or make a decision to save my life!

A stop at Starbucks for a lovely vanilla latte helped quite a bit to get a little temporary energy for the return trip home. It also helped to have in my mind what I would order before we got there, vanilla latte seems easy to remember and not get distracted by all the choices. It was good to just stop for a moment. I slept both on the way to, and the return trip home.

I was glad to get Tux back to her kitty home where everything is familiar and there are no strange sounds of whining animals she cannot see.

I told Richard one of these days I’m going to bust out of my chains and make the trip by myself because he looks and shops faster than I do. He wasn’t pleased with the idea saying it’s too long of a trip for me. In my mind that is what I want to do, taking breaks when I need to, not being in some marathon I can’t keep pace with. Whether it happens or not? We’ll see.

I tried yard sailing yesterday, I went but wasn’t really there. I tried chatting with some folks who had come to our yard sale, but couldn’t! I was there, but my brain wasn’t! I ran my errands and returned home in short order. Today is a migraine and continued brain fog day. I spent more time in bed with the ice pack today than anticipated and still can’t quite resolve the neck and head pain. I’ve been trying to not take pain meds to help my stomach and intestines, but today had to give in. The head pressure and neck pain have been something else. If I bend over, whether it be to put boots on or clean out the litter box, wow, the neck pain and head pressure upon standing upright are something else!

Mornings still seem to be the toughest part of the day for me, if I haven’t slept well or wake up in pain, everything moves at a turtle’s pace. Just the other day I woke with so much pain and stiffness in my neck that if looking straight ahead is like 12:00 on a clock, I could only look to the right far enough to what would be 1:00. It was the oddest thing!

I’m off to rest again…my brain is in control! LOL!

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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