Back to the Beginning: Canoe View (posted Aug. 8, 2010)


I can honestly say today was the first full good day I’ve had in quite some time. I am very tired tonight but wished to make a note of a good day, to enjoy it, record it, and neither hold onto it or long for another. It just is. As a friend of mine says, “It is what it is.”

It was rather lovely to not have to drag myself out of bed and through the day. I was able to get quite a bit done, or at least it felt that way! Having been down for two weeks a lot of things got neglected and that’s a drain to my spirit.

Yesterday Richard took me on my first canoe ride post-injuries. I was petrified!! I do believe there is a bit of my old spirit still in me where I get scared, but do whatever it is that frightens me anyway. Nice to touch that ‘old self’ once again, it feels familiar, comfortable.

With my balance issues on solid ground I wondered what in the heck my brain would think about being on the water and not so secure. Getting in the boat was a bit of a chore, and Richard graciously told me to take my time.

Once in I held on to the sides and wondered how in the heck people find it relaxing! My little brain was working so hard just to find some sort of balance. It wasn’t too far removed from my memory how I used to get dizzy riding the ferry from Bremerton to Seattle and back, so the concern had a foundation in experience.

I finally realized my holding on would not spare me should anything happen. Ah yes, groundlessness. An uncomfortable place to be, I did not want to venture out into the deeper parts of the lake even though I had a life vest on.

Once rational thinking took over, I began to relax. I’ve done this before, I thought. I still knew how to paddle and that felt pretty neat. We got out a bit and Richard handed me one of his fishing poles. Safe to say I am not a natural fisherperson! Trying to cast a line and deal with my brain trying to get a grip was a little much. LOL – multitasking is not my forte!

Fortunately we were distracted by a momma moose on the shoreline to our right so we went to get a closer look. I’ve always loved moose, guess I just have a thing for big animals. That helped my brain make the event a more positive one. We paddled along and saw a beautiful bald eagle. The loons were singing their beautiful songs, it was quite lovely. I remembered hearing them in the movie “On Golden Pond.”

I saw the strangest thing in the water and wondered if it was some sort of different fish, Richard said it was a turtle! Oh I forgot they have turtles out here!

It was good exercise and a pretty good experience overall despite the neck pain then and now. Richard let me say when it was time to go, we hadn’t been out there too long, but I knew I was done. We grabbed a bite to eat on the way home, and once back here, I crashed. No big surprise.

I am glad I got out to do what I took for granted so many years ago. I didn’t realize I’d get to see wildlife from the water, that made it an incredible journey.

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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