Back to the Beginning: Delighted and Growing (posted Aug. 23, 2009)


I’m still busy doing everything I was doing before, but with such a lightness and joy in my heart, it is a staggering opposite of where life has led me for so long.  What a difference help and hope make.

Richard is excited about us, telling people who knew us before we’re getting married, the potential move to Montana is a go, and that we had a really long, over 15-year engagement!  Everyone he is tilling are busting at the seams wishing him, and us, all the best. He is working diligently to make sure the transition/move in the Spring is a smooth and happy one. How blessed am I!?

I wish I had the same sort of support system to share my news with, I am not close with friends here, and in a way, that makes leaving easier. I spoke with my Dad today and didn’t tell him, wanted to although I did, I’ve always felt like conversing with him is the Grand Inquisition. I’ve known that since I was a teen.

I’m learning a lot about my family in this process, the good, the bad, the ugly. I’m currently scanning and saving my Mom’s recipes to my computer, just the ones I think I’ll use or remember from childhood.

The originals will go to my youngest brother and the copies I’ve been scanning will find a new use being recycled some where in the world. My family already has notebooks of Mom’s recipes I gave them at Christmas years ago. I’d like to say if I need any of those recipes I’m not choosing to keep, I’ll have back up with my family, but my family isn’t available.

Sometimes the difficult truths about my family makes it all the more difficult to strive for something different, to not lose heart, and keep trying for better relationships. I can see why I do well with animals, because what you see is what you get, no confusing talk to disguise a walk that is polar opposite!

Going through my Barbies I’ve recalled I never really played with them except for when friends came over. My favorite? Still in tattered box and I’ll probably end up keeping is General Custer! Silly girl. Guess I never was one for dolls and dresses and all those things my parents intended me to be.

Faith Hill’s song keeps running through my head:

“She was daddy’s little girl
Momma’s little angel
Teacher’s pet, pageant queen
She said ‘All my life I’ve been pleasin’ everyone but me,
Waking up in someone else’s dream.'”

I am glad Richard is delighted, and I am thrilled too. Oh my gosh! I am glad he is not like my family, able to allow me to be who I am, warts and all, and still loves me. I don’t expect life to be a bed of roses, but as long as we keep talking and work together, not against each other, it looks like the rest of our lives will be far better than the start!

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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