Back to the Beginning: Betrayed (posted Nov. 3, 2009)

I’ve been missing writing lately, with so much going on, I’ve been longing for time and energy to sit and catch up…but more than anything the safety to do so.

I won’t mince words. I miss being able to come here and ventilate my heart and thoughts, but honestly having a friend betray my trust still stings. Oh yes, people betray people all the time, it’s just not the same when your world becomes tremendously small and you’ve lost almost everything along the way. These are tough life lessons to live and learn from…and above all, still choose to nurture an open heart.

I have a choice. Can the actions of one person or others change who I am or what I need? No.

For those of us who have not known a lot of safety, everything is a step of faith, trial and error, trying and falling, but always getting back up.

I think as humans we’re all longing for our own personal freedom, to fully be who we are, without the fussing and fighting. There is nothing I miss more on this path than my freedom, to be able to go and do what I want when I want. That physical freedom has limits, my spirit, however, does not.

Letting go takes a lot of courage. To do it over and over again is completely exhausting and causes me to question everything.

I know that I keep pushing the envelope of the spirit world by challenging what we know is true. I accept the path of the warrior because a warrior’s fight is never over, but he or she is prepared for the battle. The warrior learns who his/her friends are and are not because that label is held with honor and esteem. Friends don’t betray friends, it’s that simple.

I may be held within this cage of Brain Injury, but I will sing and dance because that’s who I am meant to be and damn it, I am still free!

The fight of my life may be focused around Brain Injury at this stage in my life, and it may always be that way. What I know is this, the fight to be heard and seen is nothing new. Don’t we all fight to be heard, seen, validated, accepted?

This is one small step toward my claiming my life, loving and honoring the spirit that is alive and well within me.

About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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