Back to the Beginning: Update (posted July 18, 2009)


A lot is going on at the same time!

I have posted quite a few things on Craigslist and not a one has sold. It is definitely a buyer’s market, a great time to get ‘screamin’ deals’ as a former co-worker used to say.

I think I currently have three eBay auctions running and two of the three will sell at this point, near or below what I paid for them. Tough economy, any cash flow is better than none.

My Unemployment is currently exhausted, I may be eligible for the Emergency Unemployment Compensation.

My dog’s Cancer bumps have come back and it’s a tough reality. My counselor loaned me some money to buy greens and produce so I can start juicing again. I now have a “Rudy Foody Fund” just for that. My dog has been pretty lethargic the last couple of days, it is wait and see, live in the moment, trying to remind myself to simply breathe.

My friend Kathleen and her boyfriend have offered to help get the house prepared to sell. I’m always hesitant sharing such news because, well, it’s better to see it first, then I’ll believe it. I’m sure you know what I mean, everything changes when we’re not so independent.

At any rate, I spent a good portion of the day (minus naps!) working outside trying to get the outdoor fireplace (free from Craigslist), cleaned, scrubbed and painted. Ran out of high temperature paint so have a good base coat, went to WalMart tonight to grab another so tomorrow or Monday will be good to go.

Can’t tell you how long I’ve had this fireplace sitting outside with all the best intentions in the world! Having the outdoor fireplace will be a good (I hope!) selling point, as well as it will help me burn (when the weather cools a bit) a lot of paperwork I’ve been saving just to destroy safely.

And if it’s not a good selling point for the house, maybe I can recoup what I’ve spent in gas and paint, or if not, just have some cash flow.

I have to believe everything is going to be okay, that I will have a home and get to keep my pets. As a friend said, “they have to give you your Disability eventually.” I feel like I’ve become so jaded when I reply, “Yeah, but they don’t care of I’m homeless or not!”  [Terribly true.]

I saw a 1982 27′ non-running motor home for free on Craigslist and that gave me hope that maybe one day soon things will work out in a non-conventional, affordable way for moi. It just made me think of possibilities and maybe, just maybe, not having the huge financial stress and drain that accompanies ill health and/or injury…and I could actually get back to the fine art of just living, not surviving. Nice!

I’m listening to Pema Chodron’s audiobook from the library again, and one of the first things she talks about is how she received a pith instruction when she was just six years old. Pema had been angry, feeling unloved, lonely, etc., walking down the street past a neighbor’s house kicking stones with her head down.

The neighbor woman said, “Child, don’t let the world harden your heart.”

With my memory, I often forget this and then listen to the audio book again and it is a life lesson. Even though I have the book, I still listen to the audio because reading just doesn’t stick like it used to. (I have to say, it’s weird to forget so much because it’s like the bad joke that with Alzheimer’s all jokes are funny because you don’t remember hearing them before!) Hearing this helps chart the course for my heart although the path is about as ugly (to me) as they come!

Next weekend is a Foreclosure Prevention Class I’ll be attending, or maybe I’ll just call the 211 number and see if I can get help closer without the hour drive each way. That’d be good. At any rate, yippee, more paperwork, documentation, forms and questions!

Tonight is rest, brain is tired! I think the three-day migraine that ended yesterday is due to neck stuff…not sure, but heck, I’ve tried everything under the sun and none of it worked.

Blessings on y’all, thanks for being here.

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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