Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Today has been a long, eventful day opening myself up, asking for help from the world. Uneasy am I. Petrified is more accurate.
I’m petrified any way you slice it – of losing my home and pets or asking for help. So, I am curious to see what happens when a person faces their deepest fears in hopes of changing the world not just for self.
I picked up from the library Pema Chodron’s “The Places that Scare You” on CD to try to listen to again. Her insight and wisdom were very helpful prior to this accident, listening to her is like listening to a friend. It is something I looked forward to. I will test my brain sponge to see if I can absorb some wisdom now that a little time has passed since the last accident.
I had some time after the chiropractor before Brain Injury support group today and am glad the idea of going to a park for a walk dawned. I need to get more active even though it hurts and I’m so blasted tired, struggling with ongoing migraines.
I thought I’d been doing fine today, pulled into a parking spot and started crying. I don’t know it was anything specific other than a huge sense of overwhelm, I hadn’t felt like crying, I just knew I was very, very tired and pushing myself to get through the day.
I am beyond tired and still have week ahead of me to prepare paperwork for, and have to force some organization before Friday. I have to have my ducks in a row, it’s for heat assistance that I”m running out of.
No time to rest yet.
Sometimes life forces us to be stronger than we ever thought possible for longer than we ever thought we could.