Back to the Beginning: Speaking My Language and The Spoon Theory! (posted June 15, 2009)


Hi everyone,

I’ve been unable to blog for quite some time while tackling back to back migraines. Oh joy! Oh bliss! This past weekend I had a three-day migraine, which is also as unusual as the last one.

Fortunately I saw my doctor, okay, she’s a Physician’s Assistant, but she’s been my doctor for the last four years, on Thursday before the migraine downturn.

She had received paperwork from my Disability attorney, so had to schedule an appointment to answer some questions. Honestly, I dreaded it, dredging up all my struggles and deficits. But it went okay. Since she’s known me for so long, none of the questions would really be a surprise.

One of the questions was do I remember locations. I said not really. A good example was driving to the clinic that morning, I went a different way because it was such a beautiful morning and then panicked becausae I wassn’t sure how to get to the clinic the route I’d taken. Weird since I used to live in that town and I’ve been seeing her there for four years now. Brains…what can I say?

Then she had a Psychologist come in and ask me questions, being as tired as I was, heck, I didn’t have much more energy to dread, so went with the flow. As it turned out, he is new to the clinic and has dealt with a lot of people with Chronic Fatigue and Lupus.

He was able to relate to me so very well, I felt like finally someone is speaking my language! He asked if I get a lot of blame and I said yes. He said people just don’t understand, but I said, if they did, they couldn’t stand to see us suffer and struggle as much as we do.

He synopsizes things very well, like the debilitating fatigue. I never used that word with my fatigue, but that’s exactly what it is, it stops me in my tracks. Same as with the debilitating migraines.

There is a healing place when you’re in the presence of people who understand, rather than judge, blame, criticize or condemn. Some people are actually able to see that we put all of our energies into day-to-day function, as he said. Another great synopsys.

He said for folks with Lupus, they’re putting their energies and focus into managing pain and fatigue day-to-day and that takes a lot of energy. It reminded me of The Spoon Theory a friend shared with me, please click here: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/

Whether it be a rape, childhood trauma, unseen illness, we all have a language we speak, we’re not invisible, we’re just not speaking with folks who speak the same language…yet.

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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