Back to the Beginning: Progress (posted Aug. 3, 2009)


I took a couple PM pain meds last night to help me get through the lingering migraine and help call it a day too. What does a person do when they’ve reached their utmost limits? It’s a pretty sad day when a Brain Injury attorney turns you down!

This morning, although groggy, got myself out of bed to feed the animals, I think it’s a good sign Rudy is still eating. The juicing has helped a lot, you’d be hard pressed to believe she is the same dog! She’s much more animated, alert, playful, curious, and yes, obnoxious! I figure these to be positive signs and will of course continue to keep close watch.

Today was my day for making phone calls although I really didn’t feel up to it and with foggy brain stumbled around before I really got out what I wanted to say. Too much of life is in limbo, and since I see the Maple leaves already turning yellow, feel must rush to get things lined up for either a move or come what may.

I called Unemployment and after thirty minutes on hold spoke to a real person. She said my claim is being looked at and that there was a note at the bottom of my file that didn’t make sense. I asked what it said, if she say, and she said she didn’t want to frighten me (I’m trying to think if that’s the word…), she said she would go find out.

While I’m on hold I’m thinking to myself that nothing really frightens me these days. Really, the news on this path is most often negative and it is daunting to take. Sad thing is it’s not only happening to me, but this is the path of all disabled folks I’ve ever come in contact with.

She said for me to continue filing my claims each week and within a week or two there should be a decision. Hopefully I qualify for emergency unemployment compensation, if I do, that may just help me bridge the gap between living off of savings and staying here until Spring.

I took a little break and worked outside on the brick/rock walkway I’m trying to put together. It’s been quite a while since I’ve asked for help and since it’s still undone feel it’s up to me to do. Rudy was outside with me and she played like crazy! She’s such a funny dog. I am so glad she is feeling better.

Back to the phone indoors I called a gal the Social Worker at rehab left a message for me to call. She’s also a Brain Injury warrior and has horses. We spoke for quite a while and then decided email or Instant Message would be better.

I told her I haven’t IM’ed in years, so would have to install software to do so, but I’d give it a try again. IM usually goes too fast for my brain to follow. For all the work I’ve done to rehab my brain I can’t seem to speed up the processing. Hopefully we’ll be able to keep in touch, we seem similar in our work ethics and not looking for handouts, but a way through.

Gosh, she talked about how we have a lot of material stuff to get rid of and I told her I’ve only recently decided to find an eBay seller because my good intentions are getting me no where fast. She said that’d be a great job for someone, I agree, but probably not someone with Head Injury because it is labor intensive.

We talked about how we fall through the cracks, how often we don’t have cases in which to get advocacy and help, and I said it can feel like we’re the most despised people on earth, but we’re not, the system is what the system is.

The funny thing is, if we could do better, we would. No one would choose this path! I guess it’s easier to judge than it is to understand, and judging means no one has to change.

Oh – almost forgot, rehab called, there is an opening for Occupational Therapy tomorrow. I was stunned and asked the receptionist if she was joking…wow, I didn’t mean that! I’m scheduled to finally get in after how many months? Yeah! Speech Therapy is scheduled for Thursday morning, so this is positive progress.

I plan on working on the walkway again this afternoon although it really aggravates my neck, it’s got to get done. Maybe Ibuprofin will help my head and neck…off to ice and rest for now.

Blessings on ya!

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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