Sometimes life with TBI is like being in a bad B movie or some weird music video! What is reality and what is just a weird brain moment or my brain playing tricks on me?
Did I really just do that? Did I really just say that? Where am I going? What did I come in here for? What did I do with that? What was I going to do next? Am I going the right way? What was that?
Life post-injury seems to be full of more questions than I have answers for.
Things like the simple act of setting out a hummingbird feeder doesn’t offer joy at first. Why? Because I forgot I put it there! So when I walked by my bedroom and was startled by that red thing hanging outside the window, it took me a minute to remember I’d put it there and it’s not a person looking in the window!
Or the morning in the shower I thought I saw a spider fall from the ceiling into the shower.
A normal brain is kind of a strange thing anyway, but add an injury or two, and life becomes a little more odd and unpredictable! Funny thing is we adapt to our environment and learn coping skills, and forget them too. It really is like walking in shifting sand.
As weird as these days and events do get to be, I am ever so glad to have found a name for what I experience and that I’m not alone in it. Talking with others, maybe even getting to where we can laugh about our weird symptoms makes it easier.
I jokingly say, “every day is a new day with Brain Injury, and that isn’t necessarily a good thing!” It is not easy, it literally is the fight of my life, but we do adapt.