Back to the Beginning: Long Update (posted Mar. 29, 2009)


I think with how fast last week breezed by, I’ll do my best to just update per day since it’s already Sunday evening and tomorrow starts another week of appointments and head spinning.

Monday with Neurologist:

Dr. said for me to not be too hard on myself, take notes like I’m doing (remembered note pad with questions) and work on acceptance. He said the emotional roller coaster is Emotional Lability and I can double up on my meds the next couple of weeks.

Tuesday, phone conversation with at-fault party’s insurance adjuster:

Until speaking with this person I’ve had absolutely no qualms with the insurance company. He did say a couple of things that caused me concern and downright worry about my being taken care of and not facing huge bills.

Knowing insurance companies do not wish to pay and they can deem what is “necessary” and “reasonable,” my concern grew.

I then called the Social Worker at rehab, also spoke with a friend and pretty much concurred I will speak with an Brain Injury attorney, at least for a consultation. This accident could cause huge debt if the insurance company backs out of paying.

Wednesday was appointments, rest, and support group later that night. Thursday, more appointments, more rest.

I had my first therapeutic massage on Friday with the massage therapist who specializes in orthopedic massage. She said I walk on the outside of my left foot and use my right foot to power. I thought that was funny, but she was right, I tend to fall to the left when I fall. She said I have a lot of inflammation in my neck from the whiplash, in my sitting bones, and there is a lot going on in my right hip. She said my right leg is sore because I’m compensating for my balance.

It was pretty neat the massage therapist said she saw part of a story that morning about how women are more susceptible to concussions than men. She had to leave for work so missed out on it, but how neat is that she’s tuned in to brain stuff?

The chiropractor said something really neat too, that the Chiropractic Association is involved with the Brain Injury Association and has a pool of people they can call on for advice. She said it’s really neat what they’re doing, handing out bike helmets for free and such. She said she wanted to make sure I knew the chiropractic community is getting support from and support the Brain Injury Association. She is very dear, she completely received the comment I’d made voicing my concern about the disparity between alternative and traditional medicine.

I’ve just struggled so much walking back into the chiropractic world when I worked for a chiropractor and was friends with for quite some time until my Brain Injury. They saw the signs but said it was willful insubordination and due to a break up with my fiance at the time. Geez, I was the one who broke off the relationship and I recall saying although it was terribly painful and not what I wanted, I knew it was right because I was relieved. It’s such a sad and tragic time in life, no warning, that job loss was completely devastating. They denied my Brain Injury, yet a patient at the office who had a Brain Injury later told me she knew I had a Brain Injury, she saw it! How odd, these people who are my bosses and friends ‘couldn’t’ see, but she could. It just hurt terribly they considered I had a personal choice in the matter, I was a poor worker, or whatever they had to chalk it up to. (Still such hurt needing healing.)

I pretty much had a lingering headache which sprouted into a migraine on the right side of my head from Wednesday on, taking Advil and Tylenol on Friday helped.

Friday was the mammogram (owie!!) despite my head hurting so much. I just love how they pinch the living daylights out of you in those machines and they tell you to stay still. Uncle!!!

This is an oddity of head injury – there I was sitting in the waiting room for the mammogram and sitting across from me was a lady who had been a patient at the chiropractor’s I used to work for. I remembered her, her name even (she didn’t recognize me), but how weird it was I could remember her from before the accidents, and Wednesday night couldn’t recognize the man talking to me, when or where we had run into each other shopping. Heck, I could tell you who the lady was friends with and probably name the church she goes to. Weird.

After all the appointments Friday and being close to Costco I sat in my car resting after the mammogram and tried to talk myself into going. I just couldn’t do it. I drove toward home and then at the last second decided to go visit a seaside town not far away. It was good to get out into the open for just a moment, feel the stress melt and my heart grow quiet. It’s not very often we get a break from TBI. I noticed looking at one side of the water was fine, but looking at the side where the water was going in opposite directions, well, that made me nauseous! I think if I could give one thing to TBIers, that would be time away from their injuries, time to rest and really rejuvenate.

For some reason, with TBI stress is a bigger deal than before. Is it the ongoing stress? The financial stuff that goes along with it? The uncertainty? Is it the waiting for a happy ending when so much bad news flies around? I’m not sure, but I do know this, I don’t think I’m a TBI survivor, because in a way, that word makes me think of the battle is over. I think I’m more of a TBI warrior because as far as I can see, the battle just never ends.

Saturday was rest and trying to get some house chores done, which reminds me, I put the laundry in the dryer earlier this evening and promptly forgot! Hopefully nothing shrunk! Oh how us TBIers rely on tools, alarms, etc. (the timer on the dryer no longer works…I should know better than to think I’ll remember!)

Must rest for the MRI tomorrow.

Blessings and warm thoughts everyone.

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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