Back to the Beginning: Holding On and Letting Go (posted July 24, 2009)


I’ve decided, and just sent an email to set up an appointment to have an eBay seller take possession of my entire Barbie collection and sell. Let ‘er rip! 🙂 The wild hair idea of me actually doing the selling is not going to happen.

So, I hope to schedule an appointment within the next week and get the process started. I gleefully decided if I have to do something difficult like this to wrap something good up in it too. So, each time I take some things to sell, I’ll spend some time in the town I love so much and get some much needed horse therapy!

I went through Mom’s old jewelry and am sending to a gal in New Jersey who makes jewelry out of broken tea cups and can use some vintage jewelry too. The box is going out in today’s mail, so that is one less thing to think about.

Here’s her website.  I consider her one who makes beauty out of brokenness:  http://www.marjoriescracked.com/

Here is here blog, she’s a very sweet lady!  (Her blog has music playing so if you’re sensitive to music please make sure your speakers are off):  http://marjoriescracked.blogspot.com/

The emotional side of letting go of other people’s stuff is one thing, it’s an entirely different thing to let go of my own things! It’s like selling of your estate while you’re still alive. Not easy, much grieving, and some relief along the way.

I’ve also let go of the notion of getting help or the small chance of saving my home. It’s a much freer place to be than living in fear, putting energy “out there” that “someone” will help me.

My friend who worked for Habitat for Humanity invited me to a book signing this afternoon of “Breakfast at Sally’s.” I’d never heard of the book before, but did a little research online and was impressed. Richard LeMieux was a very successful business man who spiraled down into homelessness and he wrote about it.

“Breakfast at Sally’s” is about all the people who helped him at the Salvation Army, and the dear souls he met along the way. He said it is his little dog, Willow, that kept him from committing suicide and I nodded! I so get that connection of animals to people, especially us shut-in sorts.

He’s a local author and it was neat to hear about something so near and dear, and close on the horizon for myself. Anyone and everyone is at risk of homelessness. They’re raising funds for a place in Bremerton for the homeless to get showers, their mail, basically all the things we take for granted…and, with dignity and respect too.

I appreciated his distinct lack of judgment when people asked him questions after his talk. This man lost everything and he was greatly changed, his heart is wide open now. Very inspiring, indeed. I would love to hear his book on audio since reading is such a chore and challenge.

Being on the verge of the same scenario am I, not probably looking at homelessness, but so close I can feel how bone chilling rock bottom is. I think I need to start going to Salvation Army, yup I do. They care for souls there and are unafraid. It’s something I’ve thought about for a long time but haven’t done for whatever reason. I have seen enough to be impressed by Salvation Army’s integrity.

It was heartwarming especially to hear about this man and his dog. SO many people have told me I should not have pets if I cannot afford them. I’ve always said I’ll give up my house before my pets. They’re my family, and I am quite sure they have pulled me back from the edge, for without them, I really doubt I’d find reason to face each day.

I love my animals and they’re staying with me is simply not negotiable if I have any say in the matter! I told each and everyone this is a forever home unless God Himself says otherwise. Animals were my refuge growing up just as they are now.

On a lighter side, I did get the front license plate off finally…via hacksaw! I don’t think I have to have a license plate on the front, just the back, but have it in my car, just in case. Last thing I need is a ticket to pay. The dang rust was on there for life.

In the housing arena I’ve called my lender, they’re sending me information on the HAMP program that the Consumer Credit Counselor told me about. My loan is eligible, so we’ll see. I’m giving myself time to rest before receiving another slew of paperwork to do.

I’ve decided to not to go to the Foreclosure Prevention Class tomorrow, which is at least and hour and a half to two hours round trip. Then the class would go from 10-6, heck, I was checking out this afternoon at the book signing!

I also gave some books to my counselor’s office, it felt good to know those books would go to benefit others rather than sit on my shelf or storage room. I think we all know I don’t read much! LOL!

It feels good to give, especially in this economy…and they say the poor give the most because we see the need. I can handle being poor financially, but not in spirit.

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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