Back to the Beginning: Feeling Like the Chocolate Bunny Whose Head Was Eaten First! (posted Apr. 11, 2009)

And the rest of their body is left wondering what in the heck happened!!!

It really is a little crazy when one’s brain takes leave. I am having a heck of a time concentrating, focusing, getting anything done.

I finally cleaned out the litter box Thursday, God only knows how long it’s been. I used to clean it daily! I also took my first shower Friday, I think I took a bath the weekend prior. It’s just a trip to go to marking on the calendar when I showered and making notes to do the things I did daily. Calgon! 🙂

Every injury is different and gosh darn it, I had adapted to the last one and was able to function better than I am now.

I hear a constant what I know term as “sci-fi sound” in my ears, not quite ringing, but a steady sound. My head feels heavy, like if I bend over, it will pull me over as if there is a magnetic pull to the earth.

I did find my sunglasses, thank God! For some odd reason I put them in the second drawer instead of the first drawer where I ALWAYS keep them with my keys Even after going back to the AARP site where they did my taxes and asking them if there was a Lost and Found.

I couldn’t believe it was my lost pair, I studied them and said, “No way!” Yep, the broken earpiece, the missing fraction of lens. I love ’em! Not name brand anything, but glad to have something familiar back at a time when I seem to be experiencing discovery of new cognitive losses.

What in the heck is wrong with me?! I used to have a daily list I’d adhere to, prior to this accident of course. I just can’t get a grip on what I need to do. Heck, I made coffee like I’ve done millions of times but stood there cupboard door wide open and me staring at the coffee wondering what I opened the door for. Oh yeah, I was making coffee. Geez, my frustration level with myself is high.

I swore again today, I don’t usually swear, I just don’t like it. But I was frustrated with my inability to do something I was able to do not too long ago. Even man’s best friend left the room. Not exactly the better angel of my nature showing.

I’m finding my threshold for doing things ends much quicker than it used to. I used to have to take an hour nap everyday, and if I didn’t, I would pay later. Now, oh my gosh, I have to take breaks tremendously often.

Oh yeah, and I can’t miss the fact that since I made that huge error on the report I haven’t been asked to work on a single report since. If they weren’t friends, oh yeah, they would have fired me long ago.

I can feel my heartbeat in my head, and this ongoing migraine is something else. My balance continues to be off. I tested myself last night trying to walk a straight line like I’ve heard they do for DUI tests. Even with my arms stretched out I couldn’t do it. I would have to have a breathalyzer test! And such dizziness to boot!

I’ve given up all reading, including the little devotionals readings I did at night before. Nothing is sticking in my noggin. I just have to wait and hope that will come back in time.

Goofy brain symptoms. It one thing to have these things occasionally, but living here is just odd!

Must go rest, am getting the feeling my head is in the vice grip again. Wonder what causes that!

About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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