I am surprised by new symptoms in regards to this newest Brain Injury.
When I lie down there is a noise in my head that’s not quite a buzzing or beeping, it’s more of a steady high pitch sound. If I move too fast lying down, that noise takes the rhythm of my heartbeat making it feel like my heart is in my head. Weird. I finally realized that buzz or sound is with me all the time.
Or if I get up too quickly out of the car or off a chair, wow, my head pounds. That head pressure, what in the heck causes that? All these things have me tremendously curious as to what is actually happening inside my head.
I’m used to occasional ringing in the ears, thanks to TBI. I take that as a sign of overload because it’s something that only happens when I’ve overdone it. That is present again too, more often.
I’m still dropping things. I forgot to mention yesterday while clearing a table here in my office/storage room, I moved a pretty heavy hand-held bottle opener (in here to maybe sell on eBay). Naturally since I seem to be prone to odd accidents now, it landed on my baby toe I broke last May. Ouch! Thankfully I did not re break it, but what are the odds of hitting that toe, the only one ever broken?
Yes, there are days, and times I feel like I should be sent to the Island of Misfit Toys from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer! But I cannot give up wanting to live a good life in spite of these deficits.
There’s certainly a distinct change in motor skills in my left hand, something is off with its coordination.
And what about the times my head feels like it’s in a vice grip, what is going on inside then, I wonder.
My balance seems to be better, or at least I think so. I have been practicing heel-toe-heel-toe after the massage therapist told me I was walking on the outside of my left foot and powering with my right. I’m still furniture surfing as need be and can’t take corners fast!
Another odd visual thing, the other day in the shower I thought I saw a spider fall from the ceiling. Probably not, I never did find the little bugger. I don’t like spideys!
I’m now noticing things in the rear view mirror via peripheral vision while driving. No wonder I’m tense driving, there is a lot of scanning, processing, it takes all my concentration.
I remember with the last Brain Injury asking the Neurologist about mini earthquakes that aren’t happening. I would always look in my water bottle to see if the water moved to know if it was real or not. I imagine Post Traumatic Stress Disorder goes along with car accidents.
That’s another reason animals are a great benefit to folks like us. They can help discern what is real and what is not. If they’re not alarmed, I know I can relax. It makes a big difference!
I’m curious about what causes the nausea that is keeping me company lately. I had a terrible time with that after the accident in 2002, I would be hungry, but the mere thought of eating would make me sick to my stomach. The brain is odd, you would think we need food to heal.
Even with all these odd brain things we experience, I’m grateful to breathe in the peace of knowing I’m not alone and there are actually people out there who understand and do not judge me nor try to change me into someone I may wish to be, but cannot be.