I have to say this is the best I’ve felt in a very, very long time. If I knew the magic combination to feel this well all the time, I’d bottle it up and sell it. But honestly, this is about how I felt before the car accidents.
Granted, I’ve been up since 3am, but it’s only been a couple hours and I’ve gotten a few more craigslist items together and am ready to call Consumer Credit Counseling or whatever home help I can find.
Today will be another warm day, so have the windows open upstairs and the drapes drawn downstairs.
Rudy also seems to have quite a bit more energy this morning too, so that makes me absolutely giddy! She’s back to being what I call “my obnoxious doggage!”
Much to do, my list seems to grow longer and longer. As Pema Chodron says, “It’s up to me”. I think my expectations for help are tripping me up, I do know other people receive help and I’ve helped others in the past, but this is a big new life lesson about people going through stuff alone. The Bible wasn’t joking when it said, “Be strong and courageous.” Holy cow, I never knew life would be THIS non-stop challenging.
I am thoroughly grateful for this good moment, to feel as I once did all the time.
I do not wish to be changed by all this hardship, I want to continue to learn how to let the painful moments soften my heart and teach me compassion for myself and others. So much to learn!
I am still challenging faith or whatever one calls it by giving things away to St. Vincent de Paul and freecycle. There is a stirring in my soul that I still wish to be generous and giving despite any economic challenges. It feels good to be useful, to make a difference.