Back to the Beginning: What is the Benefit of Judging Others? (posted Sept. 23, 2008)


I’ve been thinking about judging…

I know a part of life is judging other people’s character to determine whether that person would make a good partner, husband, wife, employee, tenant, apprentice, babysitter, etc.

We discern whether a person is suitable for the need we have. But what about harsh judgment, the kind that tears the very soul of a person apart? We judge these unfortunates because they’re different than us (note we never say I’m different than they are), the blame is on the subject to whom our judgment is cast.

Have we become so television indoctrinated we no longer think for ourselves? Has the negative media, the smear tactics of slanted journalism and God-forbid, our ‘democratic’ process so shadowed our minds we’re no longer able to consider people as individuals? Even our elections to select a trusted and suitable public servant are filled with slander and hatred.

In our highly televised world, sitcoms full of degrading humor have overtaken the media, where slapstick, silly humor once was. It was a humor that drew people together, a humor that would help us laugh at ourselves or a silly situation, not ostracize. This ‘new’ degrading, spiteful humor puts the other person down, makes fun of them, and it is considered ‘humor’.

We see well-scripted crime shows where, within the allotted time, perpetrators are brought to justice and the streets are safe once more. Television shows where actors recite lines they did not write, expressing feelings they did not feel, that is called entertainment, but we soak it up like it’s education.

Have we become so closed minded we cannot accept that which does not fit inside our nice little boxes of how televised life should be? I can’t help but wonder during this awkward process of going from abled to disabled why the loss of relationships is so staggering. Not just for me, but others on this Brain Injury path, and for most every other disabled person I have ever met. This is real life.

Can we not accept a person for who they are? Why not? Is it because we fear our own humanness and what we will find if we look inside ourselves? What is so frightening about people with disabilities? Is it we are transparent and real? Are we all so stereotyped we should all be shut out of society not to be seen or heard from? Would everyone be more comfortable? I’ve never done this before, walking through life able and then suddenly disabled. Where is the manual?!

What about compassion? What about looking behind the eyes? What about our dreams? Just because we’re disabled doesn’t mean we’ve lost sight of having dreams. And just because we’re disabled doesn’t mean our dreams are of lesser value than yours. We still matter. We still have dreams. And maybe, just maybe, if you listen to us, you will find we are more alike than different.

Judgment without compassion or love behind it is detrimental. I can only imagine the oppression and judgment movers and shakers in our history have faced. They had dreams too, some closed-minded individuals thought they were crazy, with hatred and judgment in their hearts committed the crime of murder. The harshly judged persons were gone, but the spirits, the dreams, the hopes, live to this day. And those who committed the crimes? Well, they have/had a much bigger judgment to face!

Our dreams matter. Our lives matter. Every life deserves dignity. Every life is infinitely precious to God. But for the grace of God go I. By judging, we create distance, discord, disharmony when we could be learning valuable lessons from each other if only we tried.

We could grow, into the greater spiritual beings God meant for us to be.

In the entire history of man, have we not exhausted the categories by which we judge, and thereby shut out all the ‘different’ people? Haven’t we learned that doesn’t work? Judging or hating those who are different diminishes us all.

I have yet to meet any person who has lived their life without another person judging, shunning, or otherwise not accepting them for who they are. We all bear the scars. It doesn’t work. We can do better.

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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