Back to the Beginning: Surviving (posted Dec. 13, 2008)


Hi Everyone,

I’ve not posted because I’ve been exhausted listing things on eBay and Craigslist, trying to sell what I can to help make ends meet. Craigslist is easier, not as safe, and I’ve been hit by scammers who I recognized early enough to not get scammed and wasted my brain energy.

This month I will have to dive into savings again, and will have to continue selling as much as I can the next several months too. Sad times.

I went to Brain Injury support group, shared I was denied benefits. Knowing this is common does not make it any easier, I thought having an attorney in neurological issues would be enough to get me through. The Occupational Therapist agreed.

The denial letter had more than half a page length of medical doctors, clinics, individuals I have seen for my Brain Injury, still it’s not enough. I don’t look disabled, I don’t sound disabled either, but that’s because my lesser days I’m completely unable to get out of bed and/or function.

According to them, I still have some skills and can be retrained, but I went that route twice through DVR and they said until I got “my act together” they couldn’t help me. Gee, isn’t that why I was getting help?!

The Occupational Therapist asked what I am going to do, other than reapply, or whatever the next step is, I don’t know. There just aren’t resources out there for people like me and I’ve given up every other part of my life. We chatted with other attendees about people with Brain Injury that we know who have lost their homes, and it wasn’t a good thing. No happy endings.

I wish I could apply the adage that what we worry about rarely happens, but this is different! Denying the path of us disabled folks doesn’t make it any easier or change the reality. The Occupational Therapist said there probably aren’t resources in this county to help me keep my house. What do I do?

All I know to do now is hope for the best, but try to prepare for the worst. It tears at the very fiber of my soul, but I know no other way. To go through so much struggle, loss, heartache for what? To lose my home in the end? Wow. And then what?

I’ve heard it all along, from everyone I’ve talked to, whether DVR or doctors, fellow TBIers, whomever, the bottom line is most people with TBI lose their homes. The Occupational Therapist said we’re at high risk for being homeless, something I learned reading a Canadian research study that showed half of the homeless population had Traumatic Brain Injury. Wow.

Where do we go, what do we do? Where is our place in this world?

I am exhausted by this injury and my efforts to keep my house from slipping over the edge of irretrievable loss. The stress and exhaustion alone are daunting, but to not have any good come from my efforts is disheartening, to say the least.

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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