Back to the Beginning: Still Recovering (posted Nov. 20, 2008)


Par for the course, sleep is off, sense of timing is way off, migraines have been common this week, more stubborn and pervasive than usual. Simple routines like remembering to cross days off the calendar are crucial since I have no concept of time, when overloaded even that falls to the wayside. I often talk about my life balance scale being very small, add one thing, another thing falls off.

Tuesday morning I realized that was the day appointments were to be ‘opened’ for next month for heat assistance. Instead of getting rest, right at 8am when their offices opened, I was calling and calling, getting a busy signal and messages the number wasn’t in service. I tried scheduling online, and the appointments were not available.

I decided to exercise for a bit, staying active helps manage pain, so it’s important to keep moving, plus this time of the year I’m cold all the time, exercise is a good way to get warm for a little while! I returned to the computer not much later and the first appointment I could schedule was December 23! Oh my gosh! This is so odd since I was in there October 30, they said I qualified, and now I have to wait until almost Christmas to be seen. This is not what I expected or hoped for, especially since I was approved for financial assistance on October 30 and have not received anything. Sigh. These things, if they happen, take time. I think we believe people in need are taken better care of than they actually are.

I still don’t know if what I experienced was indeed a seizure or not. What I can tell you is this, after that happened I had “almost memories” coming frequently. I say almost because they were like a millisecond flash, not enough for me to recall a specific memory, just enough to make me feel weird. I didn’t know if it was a good thing, maybe my brain was making new pathways, perhaps a good sign, but honestly, when I sat down and timed it, it was happening every minute to minute and a half without trying to recall anything. It was the strangest thing because I pretty much live in the present, flashbacks are not something I’ve experienced post-injury.

I prayed and asked God if these were signs, if there’s a warning I’m missing, or if there’s something common in all these almost memories. No answer, so after a day or day and a half, I took some sleep medications to rest my brain because it was too much! Since I rest, I haven’t had them since. The brain is a strange thing!

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About Resilient Heart

TBI x3, that's me! If you had a Traumatic Brain Injury (or Injuries!) and knew you might not remember dates, events, people, etc., would you live each day differently? Would you give more, forgive more, heal more? I am. The statistics for me developing Dementia or Alzheimer's is a high possibility - one, because of the TBIs, and two - because I'm genetically predisposed. Come with me as this present moment is all we know we have... Wishing you all the best - today & always. Blessings, Love & Peace, RH
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